You’re in your 20s or 30s, trying to build adult relationships, and suddenly… things feel complicated. You might pull away when someone gets close. Or feel overly anxious if they don’t text back. Or notice yourself replaying old patterns, ones you thought you’d outgrown.

Sound familiar?

These moments often trace back to something deeper than just “bad luck” or poor communication. They’re often signs of attachment wounds, relational injuries from our earliest connections.

What is an attachment wound?

Attachment wounds happen when our emotional needs weren’t consistently met in childhood, whether through neglect, chaos, emotional unavailability, or well-meaning caregivers who just couldn’t show up in the ways we needed.

These experiences shape the way we relate to others and ourselves. They become our blueprint for what love, closeness, conflict, and safety feel like.

How do attachment wounds show up in adulthood?

Even if you had a “normal” or “fine” upbringing, attachment injuries can be subtle and easy to overlook. 

They might show up like this:

You find yourself fearing abandonment or rejection, even in stable relationships.

You crave closeness but feel smothered when it actually happens.

You expect yourself to be “too much” or “not enough.”

You struggle to trust others or yourself.

You might even notice these patterns in friendships, work relationships, or your relationship with yourself.

These aren’t flaws in your personality. They’re adaptations – smart ones, built around what your younger self had to do to feel safe.

Why young adulthood?

Young adulthood is often the first time we try to build new relationships on our own terms. Without the structure of family or school, we start to notice the ways our past shows up in our present.

That can be painful, but also incredibly powerful.

Because it means we have an opportunity to shift these patterns with intention and support.

How therapy can help…

Attachment-based therapy gently explores the connection between past and present, without blaming or pathologizing. It creates space to understand how your earliest relationships shaped your current ones, and to offer your nervous system a new kind of experience: one rooted in safety, respect, and emotional attunement.

We can’t change the past, but we can change the way it lives in us.

Therapy gives you the tools to notice your patterns with more compassion and to begin choosing differently.

If you’re tired of repeating the same painful patterns, you’re not alone.

You’re not broken. You’re wired for connection. And with the right support, those old blueprints can begin to shift. If you’re curious about working together, I’d love to hear from you.